#still not a perfect 1-to-1 but that's ok
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Late but, semi-fandragon can finally look like a proper vampire hunter! 🎉🎉🎉
#flight rising#dragon share#g1 dragons#g1 share#nef.drgn#still not a perfect 1-to-1 but that's ok#he needs a regene eventually I think#right now my activity has been slow though; saving energy for the chaos that is notn
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Eloise🥹💓
#still figuring out how to use color!!!!!! and what better test subject than my angel#this is actually for chapter 1 of my fic#eloise in her muggle clothing#I just scrolled through Pinterest super fast looking at various Victorian clothes and then I was just like#🤷♀️ white dress grey skirt it is😆😆#I love switching up her clothes in different drawings though…sometimes poofy sleeve blouse & skirt…#sometimes full robes sometimes the super cute plaid jacket and skirt…#NEVER PANTS THOUGH😳😳😳 damn…can you imagine…Eloise showing off her LEGS😳😳😳#I think I’ll post chapter 1 here soon/update it on ao3🥰🥰#also I have a bajillion more paintings started so hopefully I get faster at this#as color choice and the different steps become more comfortable😇🙏#this isn’t perfect but overall I am happy!! and the next will hopefully be better#my plans are finish the Bea/leo cómic🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I also have a quidditch Sebastian painting#and a painting of Sebastian in herbology class…you know the one😇#ok that’s all my hashtags for today#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#oh btw this is a redo of one of my first ever pictures I drew of her🥰🥰😳 u can find it somewhere on this disaster blog…..
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"And it just happened to be empty?" "Something like that."
Suits 4x8 "Exposure" Mike returns to Pearson Specter and gets Harvey's old office.
#marvey#mike ross#harvey specter#suits#suits usa#suits tv#just! going a bit mad about this specific point in time. because. there's a window here where they actually could have become something.#the investment banking era (my beloved) put them as equals. and had such open flirtatiousness. and love and respect.#and then rachel completely fucked up and mike! was done with the relationship! and rightly so!#and then here mike is. playful flirty starry heart eyes to harvey. and harvey's besotted /of course/. can't help but say something genuine.#and mike's basking in it! not a word to say. just smiling up at him. eyes flick over him.#they feel the same!!! boys you have butterflies for each other.#god what could have developed from this perfect moment in time if mike hadn't taken rachel back#(no donna that was not ''FoR MiKe'')#... gonna make these tags messier now bc I kept watching with this sat in drafts lmao BUT#especially feeling this now since on 4x10. thee Iconic ''he's twice the man that I am'' AND it's not even JUST that in this ep. like.#harvey is full-on No.1 mike ross cheerleader. defender. lover. he's chest-burstingly in love with this man. and mike is seeing it!#and he doesn't even see the half of it! but he's already taken back rachel and they're missing their perfect window in time </3#still going on DATES though. where they flirt and play and disguise their compliments and admiration of each other through teasing. ok!#mike baby the love between you will only get stronger. till you can't ignore it. and run from it. and run back to it.#coulda had him!!!! coulda had him in season 4!
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nii-san style...
#I GAVE UPPPP I GAVE UP I HATE DRAWING TALES FANART IT HAS TO BE *PERFECT* AND I CANT DO ITTTT 😭😭😭#SORRY LUDGER 😭😔😭 this was gonna be a page of ~3 separate lil drawings (like i did w gaius) but after uhh 40 hours nd mostly just this --#-- i decided yeah. no. i think. i think it's fine to finish this 1 and call it a day.......#i think i just need to go back and do some black/white stuff auauagouuhohgjh#i sat here for the past 2 hours rotating the damn thing and trying to come up with a Not Just One Solid Color bg 😭😭#idk why it ended up so pink but. i think i salvaged it. i actually thought i was gonna cry at some point LMAO#at this point i can't tell if this sucks or if i tried to step out of my comfort zone too much or. bleh#but it's still a cute idea idc..... i just wanted to draw an outfit swap ok. i love outfit swaps....#tales of xillia 2#tales#ludger will kresnik#the void given form#shoutouts to like the 1/3 of this total image that i had to crop out lmaooo#yknow funny thing. idk if it's the hair or what but after i finished the lineart i was like hm. maybe there is some kind of resemblance
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Both love and hate the absolute DELUGE of ink a fresh sharpie unleashes onto the paper the instant it makes contact…. I have complicated feelings towards the deluge lmao
#pepper words#it might not even only be fresh sharpies idk. I don’t remember… it might always be a deluge#until it starts to die#I use to ONLY use sharpies to draw traditionally for like the longest time. but then I got fancy pens and shit.#that dont piss out all there ink instantly#it’s kinda fun tho.. like it forces you to draw faster. and press lighter. and just. be looser w ur lines#and even when ur being loose it’s STILL making thick as hell lines. but. that’s also kinda interesting..?#idk. it’s kinda fun using them again sometimes. I feel like it’s kinda freeing. u just have to accept what the sharpie puts out#u can only control it so much. u have to let go of that urge for perfection and take what u get#I feel like currently I really struggle w. liking my sketches more than my lines. and trying to replicate all my sketchwork#into my linework… but lines are not sketches!!! so it leads to linework I don’t like either cuz it’s all scratchy and weird#i feel like. 1 I need to learn. to let some pictures just be sketches. like if I like the look of my sketch and wanna keep that loose#conceptual sorta look. to just. not line it. not try to replicate a sketch in lines#and 2! to embrace smoothness in my linework more… to accept my lines. not looking exactly like my sketch#and to not go over every single sketch stroke in ink to try and achieve that.. cuz it doesn’t work!!!!!#and.. uhhh. yeah! I think using sharpies might actually help out w that. cuz u literally. u CANNOT go over them a 100 times.#or trace over every sketch mark. the spread of the ink does not allow it! and if u keep trying it’ll just become a mess#forces me to accept my lines as they are… lines….#ok anyway… sorry for the impromptu sharpie / art dissatisfaction discussion ghghg#sharpies r cool and interesting to work w!!! force me to do things differently i think I like em#but also because I’m so stuck in my ways w lining my sketches they also frustrate me initially ghgh- but who cares if I’m frustrated!#the lines down! it’s done! u just gotta move onto the next one! and boom. whadaya kno#all of a sudden u got some finished linework that isn’t exactly what u put down for the sketch. but it’s smooth and clean and shit!#thats cool lol
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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𝐎𝐎𝐂; Just a month away from 10 years of RPing Rhaegar and you know what has not changed since? He still does not have an official FC 🙃
#STILL have not found anyone that fits him as i imagine him..#and the very VERY few i have found that have 1 or 2 nice pics... don't have any more#is this my curse? will i ever be rid of it?#I WANNA REDO ICONS but even the resources i have to do the icons from now just... don't convince me anymore even for aesthetic icons#the only one of my 35463 muses that has an official FC is Vaedar and his is a perfect FC but I WANT THE SAME FOR RHAEGAR#ok rant is over that is all#tati ooc
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I'm not a "new musical theatre style music" person. Never have been.
Even when I was doing voice lessons, I'd steer towards the golden age or jazzy musical theatre songs. My voice teacher would have to drag me kicking and screaming towards adding anything new musical theatre to my repertoire. For a while, the most modern song in my book was I Know The Truth from Aida, and I wouldn't count that as new musical theatre style since I mean more the Pasek&Paul or Joe Iconis type.
And now I have an audition coming up for a small production of a show in that style and I'm supposed to sing a song in a similar style. And I'm looking at all my sheet music like... let me do some Cole Porter... or Gershwin... at least Sondheim please...
#look i do have SOME newer musicals in my book. but like i said. kicking and screaming.#i'm probably gonna end up doing 'I Think That He Likes Me' which is not IN a musical it's just new musical theatre style#as part of a songbook for some writing duo that i can't remember the name of and it's 2:45am so i can't care enough to look it up.#and it's the only one in my sheet music folder that i'm like 'ok. this is TRULY the right style' and i know it's good in my voice#and it's a cute song and i do like it and it definitely fits the overall vibe of the show#and though i haven't sung it in like 4 years i still remember 90% of the words and have time to study it before the audition#but while trying to find that song deep deep in my folder i pass by other songs i just love so much more#and i'm like ahhhhhhhh why#and i'm not even like 'god i hope i get it' (see A Chorus Line. that's more my type) i truly don't care if i'm cast or not#and yes i can technically audition with any song i could ever want it's just suggested to do the same style#but i know the entire creative panel who i'll be auditioning for and the last 2 times i auditioned for them i sang the same song#only because it's a GOOD song that fit both shows i was auditioning for (Can't Stop Talking About Him by Frank Loesser)#(perfect audition song since it's short at like 28 bars and you can pick the tempo and do a lot of character stuff)#(but see this is what i mean. like 1/3 of my entire sheet music folder is golden age musicals. then half is 60s-90s.)#(and then the last chunk are the few new-ish musical theatre and some pop music.)#(if i took performing more seriously i'd have a wider range but this is truly just for fun and just for me. so i do what i like.)#i don't want to go in for a 3rd audition with the same creative team and doing the same song. especially since it doesn't fit this time.#so once again. dragged kicking and screaming. over to new musical theatre territory. unwillingly.#if i get cast we'll have to see if the show itself even grows on me since honestly i think there's maybe 2 songs i like in it.#it's definitely not the worst new musical theatre style show but it's also not one that drew me in.#ok wait while looking through lists of 'new musical theatre' shows to find one i actually like (i think just Legally Blonde sorry guys)#(every other new musical in the last 20 years that i like did something interesting with the music like Come From Away)#i ended up finding out that apparently 13 was adapted into a netflix movie? when did that even happen?#i mean i don't care for that show either but i thought i was at least up to date on movie adaptations.
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Yearning for the ex hours ig
#im like 99% ok so pls dont worry abt me#theres just like 1% of me that still loves her and still yearns#and its like a quick pinch in terms of pain but im not sure its ever going to fully go away#she and i were like. so perfect together and i feel like we understood each other in a way that no one else did -- even now#its kinda like. hard to move past#and even if i could date girls none of them would make me feel like that#and im sure as hell never getting that from a man#sighhh idk#time to project onto my ghey rat ocs then lol
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rewatched the first three episodes of s3 and im never going to recover
#i love season 3#and s3 is a great season it’s just that. THEY BARELY EVER MENTION THE TSUNAMI AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT CHANGED EVERYTHING FOR#SO MANY CHARACTERS#so whenever i watch past 3x03 i miss the tsunami arc because i do think it’s one of the greatest arcs they did#i think these eps were when i fell in love with may too <3#911 lb#SPEAKING OF WHICH#it still startles me every time that the lawsuit comes right after the tsunami eps because it’s like#you’d think that that arc (in which buck acts as a firefighter despite not being able to be one atm) would lead to everyone including him#realising that he can help people without being on active duty because that’s. what he does.#he literally saves himself christopher and a dozen others by finding shelter on top of. A FIRE TRUCK.#the symbolism does not get more meaningful than that like#i’m not even talking about the lawsuit because i think that in itself is an interesting multifaceted arc etc#what i mean is. why does no one including buck. mention that. he was behaving exactly as a firefighter would in that situation despite#being on blood thinners and all that. it literally feels like the perfect way to have that moment of ok this is who i am even when i cant#work the job that defines who i am to me#instead they move on and there’s like 1 ep where christopher has trauma over it and everyone else’s trauma over it well they simply#do not speak about that. beyond a few lines which i latch on to#sorry for the insane tags. half my brainpower is reserved for this now
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been bingewatching character design videos again and i rly want to make a video or post or anything abt character design for ocs who are just "official characters" dressed up in a game. like talking about the restrictions you have but also ways to break out of said restrictions and make your character unique in a way...
#like how im restricted with tf2 cosmetics with lucien but maybe i could redesign them a bit to give them their own meaning#and breaking him out of tf2 spy(tm) with taking away the mask and giving him hair LMAO#similarly with gin like giving her the antennaes and the cuts in her hair/tentacles and thus shes unique#even though i could not have used the basic splatoon 1 inkling hair color ugh so its tough#like ok i dont want to be too prideful abt my designs dfjhsk ofc theyre not perfect im not perfect nor a god etc#but i still think i did a decent job with them.......maybe#glitch.txt#pondering........
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i’m canadian yet don’t speak a lick of french :man_standing:
#! sol.txt#MY BAD ok listen i have. reasons#1) the french don’t even like canadian french and if i were to go to france and speak canadian french they’d sus me out so fast#2) i hate the french teaching system here it sucks. worksheets can’t be the sole learning source and they expect us to learn off of them#and then be able to speak perfect french during presentations and also have great comprehension skills#spanish was way easier bc it’s all speaking based lol so i got used to the words#bright side is that i can still read french to a degree and also can read italian wwww
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i see you are a fear and hunger fan. Injecting my brainwaves onto you
ouuugghhh these branwaves make me want pretzel sticks.....
#snap chats#UGH FINALLY DONE MOVING EVERYTHING IN time to munch on these sticks...#should i post a pic of where i have my tv and consoles set up it makes me giggle#the feng shui of this room is ACTUALLY so much better than my last room im so happy#the last room i had was so. Why Would You Put These Here but this one is about as perfect as can be#it probably helps that. i actually had time to pack and i wasnt just scrambling to grab what i needed LMAO BUT YK#oh but yeah. yeah i like fear and hunger:] if i needed to make the reminder :]#i think caharas my fave but i like the funger 1 cast a lot near equally. for whatever reason.#theyre just simple chaps- tho funger 2 DEF has a lot of great charas..... ougghgh....#ough i said id work once i was all done but im so tired..#and we're supposed to have a first-day meeting tomorrow night and uuuUGHH#i still want to stream tomorrow so hopefully im not like. DEAD by the time i get to that#anyway . im gona see if i can force myself to doodle something just so ican wake myself up then its grind time#BYYE#ps should i get actual food. i could make onigiri or pasta but Im Tired and i prob shouldnt exclusively eat pretzel sticks#WAIT I HAVE GRAPES YAAAAAY YIPEEEEE#ok bye
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yarn sale, i got over 40$ of yarn for only 12 👍😭😭😭✌️ 💚💚💚
#other#t talks#going back tomorrow to get even more yarn#that shit was a dollar each!!!#some were even less#got 1 skein only 50cents#i kept my cool tho#stuck to the master plan (no unplanned single skeins)#only bought sweater quantities + some i want to accent the big yarns#ok i dont 100% stick to the master plan#there were some 80cent skeins that i know will be Perfect for socks tho#so it doesnt count#but tomorrow i already know what yarn i want to buy#since its going to be for a planned projects#i still dont plan to start these projects till after i finish some of the ones i already got ofc#but there in the queue now :)#cause the yarn is 1 dollar each :)#its hobby lobby btw#i dont normally shop there. but. i saw a tiktok from a crocheter saying theyre having a huge sale#n i was hoping to get some of the wool yarn before it was all gon#but alas...#still lots of options for the acrylics tho!
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The whole "go to sleep -> think about sh" thing is still happening. I know nobody was wondering, but it's bugging me. My blog anyways.
...
Well, we've gone too far past the "don't sh" territory that i don't think i actually ate all day.
(Owing to the shortness. No brain power probably and also i'm tired.)
And still. Without fail. The thought is there.
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#ed tw#sh tw#i dont think i'm adjusting well actually#every stupid little thing sets me off and its not even about me !!!#it's like i keep swinging between 'able to enjoy things like hobbies again' and just ... whatever this is.#it's not like ... look i exaggerate a lot ok. this is not moodswings. thats all. i'm fairly normal all things considered.#anyways i dont know !!!!!!!!!!!! what 2 do!!!!!!!!!#it took me all of guard season before i started really feeling comfortable with guard friends#but with this it's like... i guess i feel like i should know him already. and be ok with everything#well. i dont and i am not. i still feel trapped in the space i've been given.#and i dont get the impression that i'm wanted here really. more like i constantly feel like an intruder [...in my own house]#and it is NOT helping the 'executive functioning'(?) anxiety dysregulation either. i thought i was getting better but i guess today#proved me wrong in that regard. i don't remember what to liken it to.#i don't know. i was cursed with the ability to hear and it's stressing me out.#as always it comes back to being a little *too* self aware...#i know if everything was perfect it wouldnt be life or whatever but god i just want a place where i feel like i'm *safe*#take that how you will if you want.#what i mean by it is i'm tired of getting stuck because i'm scared of making a noise.#& im goddamn tired of being forced into the closet because of 1) of my circumstances (legally i cannot say)#2) the amount of anxiety i get over trying to (re-)come out to someone i KNOW isn't going to judge me in literally any way#well. i made my kofi page anyways. so maybe if i play my cards right top surgery will happen. i hope to fucking god it does >:[
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